To Find the Heart
25 May 2015 | From Irene of Netherlands
Since I'm no good with love, and at some point I don't even believe in love - this is something I am having a hard time writing about. I always say that love is just a game played upon us mere mortals. As George R.R. Martin puts it, 'Love is poison. A sweet poison, yes, but it will kill you all the same.'
So let me just share to you something I have found several years ago - written on a pages of a book I have borrowed on our local school library. I don't know who wrote it. What drove him or her to write such words... but somehow it caught me...
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. you build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, No different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. they didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. it eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness. So simple a phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' or 'how very perspective' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul hurt, a body hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love.
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